Ordinary Unusualness
by Laura Latts
Summary: Another Perry fanfic. I can't help it! He's so awesome! But when the world comes crashing down on his shoulders and pushes him around, what is a secret agent to do?


It was a rainy day...

It's BEEN a rainy day...

It's been rainy DAYS...

Perry sighed as he stared out at the window with Phineas' lap underneath him. He loved rain as much as the next semi-aquatic mammal, but for the Summer storms to be raging on like this for days on end, it was ridiculous. Especially having to drive out in it back and forth to get to Doofenshmirtz and stop his evil schemes day after day after day in that weather. And the poor monotreme knew he had to do it again today.

"Hey Ferb!", Phineas suddenly exclaimed to his brother who sat quietly next to him on the couch. "I know what we're going to do today! Let's make a machine that'll power the house on a CLOUDY day like today! It'll be just like a solar-panel, but for cloudy or dark days like today is!"

As the boys ran off to start on their invention, Perry decided to stay on the couch for a little while longer to relax a bit more before having to go out again. Unfortunately that little while went by faster than he anticipated for the next thing he knew, the cushions came out from underneath him and he was plunging head first into a long string of tubes. He pulled his fedora out and placed it on his head as he turned around and landed feet-first in a chair in the middle of his hideout. He sat down as Major Monogram came up on the screen to brief him on his mission. The platypus decided to tune him out a bit as Monogram began to ramble about the weather until he heard the key words he's always heard as long as he's been a secret agent.

"Good luck Agent P!", Monogram saluted and Perry returned and ran off to his scooter since the winds were no condition to ride his hover craft.

The rain was no condition for Perry to really be driving much either. Perry squinted through the downpour, trying to make sure he was still on the road when things went from back to worst as his scoote began to cough and sputter and finally come to a hault. He looked down at the gas gauge to find it was empty and sighed. He had made it to the city but the DEI was still a ways to go and he had to go on foot now.

Shivering from the cold and soaked the bone, Agent P continued to trudge through the streets, trying to make it to his job.

'I'm gonna kill Monogram for this one...', he thought miserably to himself.

No one was on the streets. No one was driving on the roads. No. It was just him. It was always just him on days like these and Doofenshmirtz wasn't gonna cut slack for dripping rain water all over the floor when he got there either.

As the platypus continued in these thoughts, his mood as miserable as the weather, it began to feel even colder to him than it had ever been before. Going on little sleep from nightly activities and stress from his work, the small monotreme began to feel weakened under the storm. Like there wasn't really much point in really going on. He couldn't remember what had happened next. He remembered seeing a shadowy figure approach him but after wards everything was black.

When Perry woke up again, he felt an odd warmth around him. Particularly in his face. He stirred a bit, keeping his eyes closed, and trying to make out his location. There was something warm and soft wrapped around him. It was brushing deep into his fur like... a towel? Maybe Monogram found him and was drying him off. He finally decided to open his eyes and saw a fire in the fireplace in front of him.

'Owca doesn't have a fireplace..', Perry thought hazily to himself.

Suddenly a voice broke through his light drowsiness and made his hair stand on end in surprise.

"Oh, you're finally waking up huh?", Doofenshmirtz's high-pitched voice said to him.

Perry quickly squirmed out of the doctor's arms and landed on the floor, looking up at him in shock.

'Whoa! How'd I get here?', he asked himself before noticing Doofenshmirtz wasn't scowling at him like normal or scolding him for being so wet or anything but instead smiling a bit. 'And... Why isn't he mad at me?'

"Well at least you're alive. When I saw you knocked out in the rain, I was afraid you would die soon. Good thing I brought you in and got your warmed up, huh?"

'Me?'

"So I wonder what you were doing in this weather anyway?", Doofenshmirtz asked, not really expecting much of an answer. "Don't you have a home?"

Perry only rolled his eyes and pulled his wrist up to look at his watch and tell Monogram about his car situation but noticed that the watch had been broken by all the water in it.

'Oh stupid non-waterproof communicators!', he groaned as he glared down at it.

Suddenly his anger was diverted from his thoughts as he was suddenly picked up by Heinz who looked over him carefully.

"Well I don't see any collar or tags sticking out. Then again platypuses have like, three layers of fur, don't they?", he noted thoughtfully and then shrugged before placing him across his folded arms. "Well I guess you can stay here till we can find your owners. Maybe Perry the Platypus, my nemesis, would find you more company than me. I'm surprised he even gets around here in this weather. In fact thinking of him, I'm actually surprised he isn't here yet."

'Yes I am!', Perry thought, glaring at him. 'Moron, what the heck are you talking about?'

"Maybe he's finally got a day off. I hope so.", Doof continued to ramble, suddenly catching Perry's attention in a whole new light. "He seemed pretty tired last time he was here. Must be overworked or something. Be nice if he had a day to relax."

'Wait... He's saying what?'

"...Welp. Anyway, I guess if you're staying here, we oughta clean you up, huh?", the doctor said, smiling down at him. "Looks like you could really use it."

He carried Perry into a bathroom and sat him on the toilet as he got water going. But before Perry could really realize what was going on, he was being shoved into the icy cold water and held down until he finally drowned. Suddenly Perry's mind came clear as he came back to reality while watching Doofenshmirtz fill the tub and glared at the evil scientist.

'Nu-uh. He ain't even gonna pull that.', Perry thought as he kept his eye on him.

Finally he turned the water off and picked up the platypus again and attempted to put him in the tub but Perry did everything he could to keep out.

"Come on!", Doofenshmirtz groaned as he tried to all out slam the monotreme in it. "I'm not gonna hurt you!"

'Yes, yes you are!', Perry argued.

Doof gave a huff of frustration and sat him back on the toilet.

"Okay you win. Stay muddy!", he said in defeat and stormed out.

Perry smiled in triumph before catching a glance at himself and then looking at all the mud and water and stuff all over him.

'Wow, I am dirty...', he thought as he looked about himself.

He hadn't noticed Heinz pausing in the doorway and looking back before charging at him at full speed and knocking the secret agent into the bathtub. They both accidentally landed in it with Perry fully in and Heinz's upper half in it but the doctor was first to get up and he tried to keep Perry calmed down as Perry struggled to get out.

'No! it's freezing cold! It's...! I..!', he stopped and looked about him.

The water was actually warmer than most other baths. He wasn't being pushed down into the water till he drowned. All Doof was doing was wiping water off his face and grabbing a washcloth.

"There, see? I told you I wasn't gonna hurt you.", he chuckled as he began to scrub Perry.

It was actually kind of nice as Perry had to admit to himself. But he knew that Doofenshmirtz had something evil planned. There was no way he'd be this caring for him.

"You're lucky I had to go shopping today when I found you. I picked up some pet shampoo and food.", he smiled as the platypus closed its eyes, enjoying the warm bath.

He pulled up the shampoo and continued to bathe the agent while Perry let out a soft and contended purr. When the bath was over, Perry shook himself dry until he was wrapped in a towel again and brought into the living room.

"Here, you keep warm. I'll get some water for ya.", Doof said as he sat Perry down near the fireplace again and walked to the kitchen.

Perry dried himself off as he waited.

'This is really weird..', he thought to himself. 'I've never seen Heinz actually acting NICE to me. I mean, taking me from the streets? Warm baths? And now water? IF I didn't know better, he goofed up on his evil scheme so bad he zapped himself with a niceinator.'

He looked around the room. No inators. Perhaps an evilinator that backfired? Maybe he was replaced by some sort of secret identical twin because Perry was firm in his belief that Doofenshmirtz wouldn't actually care for him. A cat, sure. He was raised by them. Whatever the cause for his sudden kindness, his thoughts were soon interrupted as usual by his nemesis as he walked back into the room. He sat down a small bowlful of water infront of Perry. Perry sniffed his gingerly. He simply shrugged and took it for what he thought it was worth and began to lap it up. Suddenly he began to choke. He felt his legs become weak as excruciating pain coursed through his body. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz began to laugh evily as he held up a bottle of platypus-poison with an evil firey background.

Again, Perry snapped himself out of lethal imagination and looked back at his reflection in the bowl. He furrowed his eyebrows together in a tight scowl and turned his head away.

'I'm not taking any chances.', he said to himself.

"Okay, if you're not thirsty, that's fine. You're one independent little fella.", Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "Hmm.. Maybe that's just cause you're a stray. Like you had a bad experience with humans and don't wanna trust them."

'Yeah. And that bad experience is you.', Perry huffed as he turned to face his back to Doof.

This earned a slight laugh, which somewhat startled the monotreme. It wasn't an evil laugh. It was actually happy sounding. Odd.

'He really must've hit his head or something...', Perry continue to ponder.

"I swear, you little platypuses. You can be a real hoot.", he laughed.

Perry turned back around with a deep scowl etched on his face.

"Krrr krrr krr krr-rrrr! Krrr rrr KRR krrr krr rrr!", Perry chattered meaning, "'Oh no you di'in't! You did NOT just say that!'"

Another laugh and Doofenshmirtz ruffeled up the monotreme's fur a bit.

"I should really make a translatinator sometime. It'd help me understand what Perry the Platypus says."

'What are you talking about you insane lunatic? I AM Perry the Platypus!', Perry face-palmed himself, finding his nemesis even more of a moron than ever before. 'HOW can you be so nice to me and not realize that?'

"Well if you're not thirsty, are you hungry?", he asked, walking back to the kitchen.

Before Perry could even chatter, his stomach began to growl loudly and Doofenshmirtz couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'll take that as a 'yes!'.", he said, pulling out a can.

Perry walked into the kitchen, curious about Doof's unorthodox behaviour. It wasn't long before the platypus food was poured into a bowl and Heinz crouched down to Perry's height with a spoon and offered a spoonful to him. Perry only stared wide-eyed at the spoon.

'...Okay, what the heck's going on? Bathes, a warm place by the fire, water, and now he's actually FEEDING ME BY HAND? This isn't Doofenshmirtz!'

He continued to stare for a moment before smiling and taking a bite.

'And I wouldn't be Perry if I didn't take advantage of this behavioral disorder.', he though smugly to himself. 'A day off from work? Heck yeah Baby!'  
>Doofenshmirtz smiled, seeing the platypus eat. He felt like he finally gained a point of trust and scooped up another spoonful. When they were done with the bowl, Doof sat it aside and gently stroked Perry, causing him to purr.<p>

"Well I'm glad you finally trust me.", Doof said happily before standing back up. "I'm gonna go check the security cameras to see if Perry the Platypus is here yet."

He walked away and Perry remembered his earlier train of thought.

'Wait.. Why doesn't he recognize me?', he wondered to himself.

He reached up a hand to scratch his head and that's when it suddenly hit him.

'My hat's gone!', he exclaimed, searching his head for it. 'No wonder he thought of me as a regular platypus! It must've blown off!', he gasped as a new thought settled into place. 'What'll happen if Monogram found out?'

Meanwhile out in the streets, Major Monogram was looking over Perry's worn-down motorcycle, wondering where the secret agent was and why he didn't show up on GPS. Karl soon came up, holding his own umbrella though he looked like he was about to cry anyway. He held up a torn-up, damp, and tire-marked fedora to his boss. Monogram sighed and hung his head, fearing the worst, and they began their way back to headquarters.

Back with Perry, he groaned and flopped on the floor.

'So the whole day was just because I looked like an ordinary platypus. And since Doof actually seems to care for platypuses, he's only being nice because I'm not really me.', Perry concluded and then sighed. 'I'm gonna have to find a way to tell him. I can't stay here all day anyway. Phineas and Ferb will get worried.'

He stood up and set off, determine to show Heinz how he wasn't what the mad man thought. At that moment, the doctor himself came into the room and smiled back down at the platypus.

"Well Perry the Platypus isn't here yet.", Doof shrugged. "But hey, at least then we won't get interrupted."

Perry sighed and shook his head. The standing didn't seem all that weird to the doctor, but he was a little curious of the head shake.

"What? You mean you don't wanna hang out?", he asked.

Perry shook his head again and then spotted some pen and paper on the coffee table near by. He quickly scooped up the pen and began to draw.

"Whatcha doing there?", Doofenshmirtz asked, crouching down to look over his shoulder.

Perry finished his drawing and held it up. It was a picture of a house with some people in front. A man, woman, a girl and two boys. Along with a pet...

"Is that a weasel?", Heinz guessed.

Perry rolled his eyes and pointed at himself.

"Oh! Oh that's you and a family!", he finally understood. "Oh you mean you belong to someone else? Well let's go ahead and take you back. Might as well I don't think Perry the Platypus would be too fond of another platypus getting in the mix of things."

He scooped up Perry and paused with a thought. He searched through Perry's fur a bit and soon found the collar.

"Okay so you do have tags. That's good.", he smiled.

He walked off to the garage and soon they were on their way down the roads. Perry curled up in his seat, happy for such a thing as the car's heater.

'I gotta admit it, I do wish this could happen a bit more often. No worry of fighting. No crazy inators. Nothing to worry about and nothing to rush over unbelievably fast about.', he sighed and felt his eyes grow heavy. 'Just a great day with good food and relaxation. I wish I took more advantage of it...'

As Doofenshmirtz drove, he noticed something touching his lap and looked down to see the small monotreme fast asleep. He smiled and chuckled as he ran a finger through its fur.

"For a platypus you can be really nice...", he noted.

"Curse you Perry the Platypus."

* * *

><p><em>Aww! Perry finally got a day off! And Doofy's being all nice about it!<em>

_I hope you like it!_


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